A letter to … My father-in-law, who hates me

 The letter you always wanted to write

I feel truly sorry for you. However, you are a person without limits. You know no bounds. I will not let you bully me. I will never crawl in front of you.’ Composite: Getty

 By Anonymous.

    I never thought we would get here. This is such a cliche. Your son and I have been together for over five years. I always thought that we got along well. I had the impression that you were supportive of our relationship and I felt like you wanted me to be part of the family.
I also genuinely used to like you.
When you came to visit us recently, I was excited to see you. I thought that we knew each other well enough now to just be ourselves. I was looking forward to that.
You stayed in our flat, sleeping in the living room.
It all started when I wanted to do some exercise on my own and asked if you could continue reading in another room. You started shouting and packing your things. You said that we were treating you like a dog. How dare I ask for 20 minutes of alone-time.
You are an abusive person. That was the first time I got to see that.
Things calmed down later. I was seriously uncomfortable in my own flat, but I thought that you just had a bad moment and that you were going to contain yourself.
That was not true.
You started again the next morning. We were discussing some mundane thing about where to have dinner after work. You said that we were excluding you. How dare you treat visitors like that? This time I did not stay to listen to you shout in my own home. I just went to work and hoped that you would not be there when I came home.
This went on for the rest of your stay. After you left, I thought this would all be over. I could not have been more wrong.

For you, every small thing I did was a clear insult to you. How dare you. You came to stay in my house. I tried my best.

You sent a long letter to your son containing only negative things about me. How I am selfish and arrogant. A person with no breeding or courtesy.
You constructed an absurd narrative where every small thing I did was a clear insult to you. How dare you. You came to stay in my flat. I cooked for you. I took time off work to show you around town. I tried my best.
Your words were so hurtful, they were stirring in both of us for weeks. I did not know that you had so much hate in you. So much hate for me. So much hate for our life.
The thing is, I pity you. I know that your life has not been easy. I know that you are alone. That you are getting old. I know that you sit around in the evening thinking about all the people you hate. I know that you are deeply unhappy. I know that you need help.
I feel truly sorry for you.
However, you are a person without limits. You know no bounds. I will not let you bully me. I will never crawl in front of you.
I promise that I will not hold what you did against you for the rest of your life. I promise that if you want to make amends, I will try my best.
However, the things you said will never go away completely. This will affect our relationship for ever.


Anonymous
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